HOGWARTS BLACKOUT
by tigerache
Summary: Voldemort and some crap... read and review if you want all crap welcome.


HOGWARTS BLACKOUT -7.15.2003- feat. Voldemort  
  
It is night in the Great Hall. The artificial sky is dark. So is the   
  
outside. All the students ar having dinner in their respectable tables. Sirius,  
  
disguised as a dog is under the Gryffindor table eating the scraps as they fall.  
  
Suddenly,   
  
All candle lights are blown off. The students in confusion look around.   
  
Only the closest people are merely visible. Professor McGonagall restores peace,  
  
"Excuse Me! Can I have the attention of the students. Please remain calm... the  
  
storm probably did it..."   
  
  
  
All of a sudden there is a whoosh of the air and light is restored.   
  
Standing in the middle of the stage is Voldemort. "Sup." Everyone is stunned.  
  
Some people duck under the tables and start memorising their defensive spells.  
  
"What do you want?" demanded Professor Dumbledore.   
  
"Shut up you monkey. I'll take over from here. Well 'I' as in Lockhart and I."   
  
replied Voldemort.   
  
"What the crap?" was Snapes' opinion. "Lockhart?" and Snape laughs silently.  
  
Professor Lockhart appears beside Voldemort. "What's so funny?"  
  
Professor Flitwick chortles and falls off his cushions. Sirius emerges from under   
  
the table. "What the crap?"   
  
"As I was saying," continues Voldemort. "We are here to take over Hogwarts!"  
  
There is a slight pause.   
  
"Why?" Asks Fred and George in unison.   
  
"Why?! Because I am an evil villain for Slytherins' freakin' sake." Voldemort  
  
replies with venom. He points his wand at Fred and George and shoots a snake at   
  
them. Fred calmy lifts up his own wand and says, "Protego!" The snake is rebounded  
  
and hits Professor Lockhart on the head and bounces away. Lockhart falls down rubbing   
  
his head.  
  
Voldemort looks aghast. "Uh.."  
  
"What are you going to do Tom?" asks Professor Dumbledore. "There are no   
  
Death Eaters here. How do you expect to take over Hogwarts?"   
  
"Oh but there are so Death Eaters here." Voldemort acknowleges the Slytherin table.  
  
"Yeah right," Mutters Sirius. "Just try and touch a muggle-born, I'll crush  
  
you both."   
  
"I think Voldemort's a llama." Pipes up Malfoy. Crabb and Goyle nod curtly behind him.   
  
Professor Flitwick points his wand at Lockhart and turns him into a monkey.   
  
Professor McGonagall uses the Lock up charm. The monkey is like a statue.   
  
"What the CRAP?!" Voldemort roars. "I should've brought my Nagini..."   
  
Wormtail appears in a cloud of smoke. With a bark, Sirius turn in the bear like   
  
dog and chases him round and round the tables.   
  
"That's not cool!" replies Voldemort.   
  
"Shut your hole, or I'll hex you into an orangutan." replies Flitwick.   
  
"I'ma kick your ass blunt-boy!" roars Voldemort and kicks Flitwick onto the Ravenclaw where   
  
all the girls coo over him. Harry stares at him jealously. Harry jumps up and throws his   
  
wand at Voldemort, as it bounces off his head up high Harry jumps and grabs. He performs a   
  
flip and lands behind Voldemort. He's pointing his wand at Voldemort. Voldemort disappears   
  
and reappear at the Slytherin table.   
  
"Insolent fool! I'll drop you like first period French!" yells Voldemort.   
  
"Shut up you bleached whigger!" yells Lee Jordan. Angelina Johnson laughs.   
  
"What the I'm not white - ... CRAP!!" He yells again.   
  
Harry grap the monkey (Lockhart) and tosses him at voldemorts' back. He turn around in time and  
  
turn the monkey back into Lockhart but they both fall in a heap.   
  
"Screw the government!" yells Voldemort. "I rep Oaktown and I'll mother pack you into   
  
that crazy place where my G's eat cake!"   
  
"...what?" replies Lee Jordan. "Shut your mouth Malibu's Most Wanted!" yells Angelina.   
  
"Wormtail I'll kill you!" roars Sirius from behind him.   
  
"I'm sorry! ahhhh...... "   
  
"My name is Harry and I represent PotterTown, I'm Fifteen, I live in   
  
Little Surrey... uh.. Fo Sheezy My Neezy and I dribble to the V.A"   
  
"I don't like you anymore." Replies Cho.   
  
Lockhart finally stands up. "Sceptrius!" Harry is a cat.   
  
"Okay THAT I like... cutie!" She grabs the cats and pet Harry. Harry purrs contently.   
  
"This is to all the haters out there! Next time I come back the Dark Side gon whup all the   
  
other sides!! That mean the Good Side, and the East Side, West Side!! Peace Out monkies!"  
  
With that, Voldemort, Wormtail and Lockhart disappear. The candles are restored. Sirius growl and  
  
turns back into human.   
  
"Attention all students. Please don't be convinced by that attempted Hogwarts blackout!"   
  
says Professor King Jr. (the new Defense Against the Daqrk Arts teacher.)   
  
"hear hear.." says Angelina and Lee Jordan.   
  
--------------  
  
Colin Creevy pulls his head out of the Pensieve.   
  
"That was wack." And He leaves Professor Dumbledore's office.   
  
THE END. 


End file.
